When Space Heaters are you Best Friends

2010-07-27T15:53:00.000-07:00

Holy Bacon on a Stick, Batman! We're going to miss the Minnesota State Fair!

That's right. I have to miss the state fair. Though, to be honest, the last time I went to the state fair I got a caramel apple. And it wasn't on a stick. As Minnesotans know, one of the biggest attractions of the state fair is that all your food comes on a stick. There's no other time where you can eat deep fried macaroni and cheese on a stick or a deep fried twinkie on a stick, so you can imagine my disappointment when my caramel apple was in a bowl.

The last blog I didn't delete I was considering moving to China. I am not going to China anymore, but happily staying in Florida. Also, I have a dog now. Her name is Lady Jane and she's licking the couch. In addition, I am no longer at the kosher restaurant, but at a surf and turf restaurant which is about four stars better than the last one.

I think my foot is breaking. I have incredibly high arches, so high that no arch support comes close to being supportive. Thusly, I think my bones are collapsing in on themselves. It's a little painful. Also, the boyfriend thinks I'm ridiculous that I think my feet are collapsing. But what'll you all say when I have flat feet?

There isn't much else to mention in the world of Dani. I have a gooseberry crumble in the oven that I have to attend to. The fun never ends.

China and Tipping

2010-01-26T10:33:00.000-08:00

Frank and I had a talk. Rather, as per usual, I blurted some statement that might've pertained to moving to China.
Frank used to live in China. Along with being a comic book artist, a screen writer, a author, and all around great guy, he hosts Chinese tutorials and did so in China.
And it looks like in about five months, Frank and I might be moving to China. An apartment will already be secured for us and he's already has his job lined up. Since I have a knack for teaching and kids (I spent my entire childhood trying to do just the opposite to be a rebel to my mother's daycare business), I have no qualms about finding a job in China tutoring English, I'll probably do extra work as well. Frank is going to start to teach me Chinese.
Our stray cat is making herself more at home. She comes in not just to eat now, but to hang out. Frank and I are worried that this is a bad choice as we are going to be moving to China so shortly. Just as she makes herself a home inside, we'll have to kick her out to move again. I suppose we will progressively work on getting her back outside as the days towards our departure move closer.
We start filming Ghost in Machine this weekend, starting Thursday actually. We have a funeral parlor secured and now just have to find a diner to film at. We also will be working on our mock up poster for Fu and Far Between soon- the film that will take place in China. China has multiple purposes. Fu and Far Between is actually the primary one. We have submitted it to investors for 1m and will be looking for more investors in case these don't get us through. Being an Asian American, fish out of water, romantic comedy movie, I don't see how anyone would NOT want to invest in it. Film Festivals alone, it will be eligible for hundreds and the nature of its genre will make it popular. Not to mention filming in China will save us a fortune so we can spend more on production quality and talent; The talent to draw us a crowd. We can afford an A-lister in China to secure a theatrical release there... but I'm going on and on now. We've already pitched to the investors, I'll save these speeches for them.
And what about the Cafe? The Euro Cafe is picking up, though I still am stupified by the people that walk through the doors. Customers: If I give you a free plate, I am actually paying for it. I feel bad that you make whiny little faces because it takes half an hour for your damn fish to come out so I print you two bills for a reason. Because you can't figure out 20% in your head, I give you the non discounted bill so you can tip me that extra dollar that will contribute to me buying your hummus plate. Don't tip me 18% on the discounted bill. That's a real dick move. This goes for the FOD cards too. I don't know what it is, but every owner of a FOD card is extra needy and whiny. Either stop bitching about everything and stop asking for stuff when I'm already clearly busy and occupied. If I'm carrying three plates of hot food, don't ask me to stop so I can tell you what a boureka is or to fill your water glass you sucked dry the moment I walked out of the wait station that you saw me. I know you drank it so I could fill it again just for you, but I promise, I'll get to you as SOON AS I CAN. I WANT to take care of you. Your tip is how I pay my bills. I'm promise I'm not going to ignore you, I will do my best to satisfy your every need, but you've got to stop being such a needy dick. I guarantee there is NO server that tries to piss you off or make you unsatisfied. We want, no NEED your tips, making you unhappy is the last thing we want to do.
And yet, I've been in the unique situation where a repeat dick comes in and I've given up that table because I don't want to be treated like crap only for a %10 tip. If you're super dooper nice I'll take it. I've been (hell, I am) in the position where I can't afford to tip properly. But if you can't tip properly, like, really can't afford it (because remember, this is our job. We're all in a transitional spot where we want to get a better job, but this has to hack it for the time being and as such we pay our bills by your tips) at least be nice. Most of our customers our kind of awesome, but sometimes the douschbag customers really get under my irritating and bother me to a level that no human should be bothered.
Also, I promise, I'm selling you the cheesecake because it's good. I'm not trying to just get an extra %7 on the bill to raise the tippage. It's good cake. Stay away from the rum cake. It's not as good. It's edible, I'm just saying, our in-house desserts are way better.
I think that wraps up complaints for today as modified as they are.
I realize that most of my blog spot friends are in Minneapolis. Above rants go to Minneapolis resturants/cafes as well, obviously.
After work I'll be heading to Frank's to hang out and work on Interview with the Vampire. Tomorrow I'll be baking: I'm thinking creme brulee, New York cheesecake, espresso cake, chocolate volcano cakes, chocolate cigars, brown sugar cigars, maybe some fruit cheesecake if I can get my hands on fruit and a chocolate marble cheesecakes providing we're selling lots of cheesecake, and Thursday it's all about selling LEDS, Sound Equipment, and Make-Up in the Pembroke Heights/ Davie area before I head back to Delray Beach to work on Ghost in Machine.
Time to take out the laundry and get pretty to go serve. All I really want to do is go back to bed.

2010-01-10T20:31:00.000-08:00

How very exciting. I remembered my email and password for this account. Yes, sir, I did.
A few important things have happened. I shall begin listing them:
1.) I bought ReAnimator. The first ReAnimator. Once Michael sees it, I will obtain Bride of ReAnimator which I will force Johan, Frank, and Michael to watch as I did the first. You are all welcome to view it with me; we will be watching commentary and extras as well.
2.) Went to the B52s New Years Eve concert. I bought their lunch box and a t-shirt. Fan much?
3.) I sell theatrical make up. Need zombies? I'm your girl.
4.) I am dating Frank. Yay.
5.) Action on the film front; I will keep you posted as to what and where. Right now everything is in pre.

Otherwise; It's COLD here. I know, I know, why am I of all people complaining? I'm from the midwest. I should be used to it. Florida's lucky it's not in the negatives. Aside from the logical; the plants, the lack of winter clothing for the natives, etc. : I use the same argument as I did in South Dakota, Minnesota, and England. If it's going to be cold, we should at least have pretty snow to show for it, dammit. But, I don't want to tempt the powers that Be. Again, logical reasons for Florida not being cold.
Well, I am off to get some warmth. Have a good night!

<-- A duck made out of sugar surrounded by candy coated truffles!

2009-07-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

Hey!

Hope everyone is doing well. While you are all enjoying the bliss of Minneapolis' summer, I have moved to Florida. Yes, I left Minneapolis at it's best season and moved to Florida at it's worse. How very Danielle of me.

One thing I have to say about Florida is that there are a lot of lizards. Seriously, walk outside and there's at least one lizard just chillin'. Also, the beach is pretty rad.

I just got a Jonathon Franzen book (yay) and a book called 'Middlemarch'. It's very long, but was three dollars and upon my skimming seemed up to my code. What was not up to code was the library denying me a library card on the grounds that I didn't have a drivers license or a bill with my name on it (like from comcast, not from broward theatre) and them AND Barnes and Noble not having Molly Keane, M. J Farrell (molly keane) and only ONE Jean Rhys book when a Jean Rhys BIOGRAPHY is being specially displayed. And the library (when I thought I was going to get a card) having NO Chuck Palahnuik, only one David Sedearis book, NO Molly Keane/M.J F. and NO Jean Rhys. Just sayin'. It's a library. Should have more books than what was offered there. I didn't even bother looking for Carter Lewis. So much for trying to read new things.

And Barnes and Noble is a little ridiculous sometimes, I think. They're books. I don't want to pay fourteen dollars for a book. That's lame. But, did it. Because library ala Del Ray is even lamer than a fourteen dollar book.

Speaking of money and how much I don't have (I need to marry rich. Or date people who are okay with a hand to mouth lifestyle.) I got my second job. Sweet. Who would've thought that you move into one of the best areas in Florida only to make less than what you made in Minneapolis? Not me, my friends, not me. Though, I don't have to deal with Glaciers and that ridiculousness. For that, I am grateful. I think I'll sell homemade jewelry to tourists on the beach when we get in season. Hey, new yorkers, what do you think of a button, a shell, and bead on fishing wire? What I think is a necklace for twenty dolla. I'll throw in a magnet. What? You're not into Christian Icon Magnets? You're Jewish?

(it's funny because there are a lot of Jewish people here. I like kosher.)

From the looks of my rambles it's time for me to go to bed.

Lots of love

Dani

2009-01-29T13:48:00.000-08:00

Things that bother me:

Cell phone services. Especially stupid ones with a stupid annoying mascot like Verizon.

Parking patrol. How i despise you, parking patrol.

Paying rent and deposits on apartments. I'd rather barter with baked goods than pay you money.

Girls who don't follow through. I should probably elaborate on that, but trust me. It's not sexual.

I know I've been a bit of a hermit. I suppose I'm still pretty bummed out about the being-in-this country-thing and not-hav

ing-money. As the sun finds a welcome spot in our sky, however, I find living in the real world becomes more welcoming, as welcoming as the world can be when you're not sleeping, that is.

That said, I am off to visit the Land of Nod.

2009-01-14T12:21:00.000-08:00

Today is my day off so I finally went out to dispute an outrageous verizon bill. After a few tears I think it might get sorted. My mother thinks I pull out the tears too much, but she just doesn't understand that I'm very sensitive. Death? No, I can handle that. A bill I can't pay? OMG, give me a tissue.

My little siblings sent me thank you cards for the gifts I gave them for Christmas so I went by the dollar store to pick up some frames for it. While there I noticed that the dollar store sold pregnancy tests and vaginal cream. It may just be me, but if I was in the position to need either, I think I would break for it and pay the extra ten dollars. Borrow the cash from a friend if needed. I'm just saying; it would make me feel better.

I am also going to attempt to find a second job today. Actually, I'm just going to walk down to Christos then set up an appointment to donate my plasma. My motivation level has plummetted with the temperature. I do sort of want a server job so I can make tips.

Don't forget, I'm also working for Glaciers Cafe who will cater all your food needs no matter the budget! Give me a call if ever you need some delicious food for your next event.

2009-01-02T14:43:00.001-08:00

Yay! I got my cell phone situation mostly sorted. DON'T Text Me! Because after the 22nd your text will be blocked as I cannot afford texting. :( The cell phone I bought on ebay never arrived. Fuckers.

The new year came in well. I was voicing my thoughts on moving, leaving Minneapolis, to the new chef at my work and he and the owners pleaded that I stay. Ego boost, yeah, but, dammit, I'm not even salaried! I'll either have to start doing a lot more catering and seeing pay for it or get a second job if I'm going to end up staying there.

In other news, I'm hanging art tomorrow at Salon De Pugh. You had better go check it out!

And that's that! I'm going to go get more prepared for my first hang :)

I hope you lovelies all had a spectacular 2008 and look forward to the year ahead!

Obligatory picture:

2008-12-14T20:41:00.000-08:00

Hey guys.

So, you might've noticed it's cold out. Brrr.

But Andy and I saran wrapped two of our windows so it's a little bit warmer.

I also saran wrapped most of my window, but I couldn't reach the top so I have about a foot and a half of open window space.

My friend, Markus, laughed when he realized that we actually used saran wrap. Apparently there's some magical plastic wrap that is manufactured for the purpose of covering thousand year windows that asshole landlords don't replace with up-to-date windows with.

BUT my mom's friend sent me two space heaters and an electric blanket. The electric blanket works and it's super duper awesome.

By the way, are there any female actresses out there with open schedule? If so, let me know. I will cast you and give you free food. But no paycheck. Sorry.

Go look outside guys! It's pro

bably really snowy out! If I had the balls to, I'd go take pictures. But I have a space heater at my feet and family guy on the t.v. A heavy, cold draft is wafting through the room and it sucks, but my feet have melted to the floor due to the space heater.

I've got my computer back from England. I have thousands of awesome pictures. It's all kind of sad, actually. Word of advice, kids: don't get rejected from countries. But here's a picture!

I've got a job at Glaciers Cafe (on Minnehaha Avenue, off of East Lake Street). Come on in! I bake stuff from my own recipes! It's tasty!

Also, I Dream of Jeannie is on. Sweet.

I'm going to watch Barbara Eden and Larry Hagman. Stay warm!

Parking Fiend.

2008-11-29T20:51:00.000-08:00

As I'm sure the 1.2 readers of this blog out there already know, the other day I stepped out of the mansion to see a note on my windshield. I don't know why it bothered me so much. Why it still bothers me. For some reason, this little note angered me more than Alan Rickman being in the U.S. when I was in the U.K. I wrote a note. See the picture to the left.

But now this spot hasn't been occupied by anyone. Because they know I'm watching. I'm watching like a tourist on a summer vacation, I'm watching like a seven year old watches Pokemon, I'm watching that spot as if Alan were about to teleport to that exact parking space. And what will happen when someone begins to consistently park there? I'll memorize their face and frown at them. Because I'm from the midwest and my anger manifests itself in a passive aggressive way. But, oh, they'll know by my disappointed frown and deep inside they'll say 'sorry, man, I'm so sorry! I was such a jerk. How can I ever make it up to you and receive your delicious baked goods.' And if the courage was enough that they'd say it out loud, I would say 'It's cool. Thanks for apologizing. You want some cookies?'

I mean, unless the sign survives and I catch the person getting out of the car and I'll point to the sign and say 'Hey, did you write that?'

To which they'll say 'Yes.'

And then I'll say 'That was a really jerk-y thing to do.'

And then they'll probably say something like 'Sorry'

then I'll say, 'Yeah, yeah, you probably should be sorry.' And then I'll shake my head at them and walk away.

Again, why am I so upset about this? Maybe it was because I was so parking-happy about not living in Loring Park and my parking-happiness was dashed by this.

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was great. My aunt made an amazing Thanksgiving feast and it included blueberry pie. It was spectacular. I pretty much don't have to shop for groceries for a while because I have so many left overs. But, I will, because my name is Dani and I have an addiction to diet coke.

I'm best off to bed. I have a full day of sign holding tomorrow. Believe it or not, holding a sign for hours is really boring. I can feel my brain start to shut down. Yay for an interview on the 2nd!

Unemployment

2008-11-16T22:49:00.000-08:00

Belated Before and After pictures of November 4

Notice:

Before picture. We've yet to exercise our American right.

After: Proud voting stickers attached to our apparel. Immediate future of free coffee and ice cream. Long-term future of hope for a better economy and health care.

What's really annoying is when you apply at places and then they post an ad on CRAIGSLIST for an open position. One you didn't apply for. One that you're probably not qualified for. Or if you've put in an application to a place you know is hiring and you call back to check the status of your application and they say 'we'll call you if you're interested'. I know, I know. I hope they all stub their toes too.

I did, however, get a gig at Ultimate Electronics in Burnsville. Yes, I am a sign holder. Put on your brakes, come on into Ultimate Electronics... in Burnsville. I'm calling Biolife tomorrow and selling away pieces of my body: read: my plasma.

I'm at the point where I'm really missing Julian more than I probably should considering the possibility of us being together again anytime soon. I have a lot of free time, so I will find myself starring at his photograph for, like, an hour at a time. I have one photo paper picture of him. I'm thinking about as

king him to send a picture of his thumb or his ear or something, something that I can't see well in a photograph. A photograph of his hand that I used to hold or his cheek that I used to kiss if I was feeling very girly. When we talk to each other on the phone he'll mention he just went into Tesco's or Sainsbury's to get a sandwich and milk. I miss London sandwiches and milk. We used to take silly pictures a lot. I miss taking silly pictures in England with a man by my side who isn't embarrassed by it.

If anyone else hadn't noticed, it's really cold out. I noticed because it's only about two degrees warmer in the mansion than outside. When water comes out the head of the shower it chills before it gets to my feet. My scalp will be burning, but my feet haven't begun to thaw yet.

I'm watching American Beauty. It feels like an art student film with a really huge budget and better sound. Independent films seem to always lack in the sound department.

It's late again. Ought to go do that bedtime routine.

In general.

2008-11-12T04:06:00.000-08:00

First off, Yay Obama.

I know what you're thinking: "But wait, my vote did matter?"

Or: "Gee, I'm sure glad my guy got beat. I can't believe Nader fooled me again! Silly Nader!"

Times are tough. Sometimes you just need a young guy who's strong enough to tackle big issues, yet, weak (or is it extra strong?) enough to ask for advice and help from the elected governmental officials.

So I'm in a new apartment now. Yay to that as well. It's an old mansion-type-place with drafty windows and wood floors. My roommates are pretty cool as well. Any roommate who does not practice a two finger diet, does not have bipolar disorder, and who I not have to over-hear phone sex from is a roommate that I approve of. Bonus: they are pretty darn swell not considering said qualifications to boot!

I've a new dream of starting a public access television show. The more I talk about my ambitions and dreams the less likely they are to happen. Which is why I refuse to say anymore about it. I blame this effect directly for not yet being married to Alan Rickman. Or being employed. Anyone hiring?

Sooo, it's really early in the morning and I'm kind of tired. I suppose I should cuddle up on my mattress and stare at the back of my eyelids for a while.